My car is an older car. I love that fucking car. It’s spitting distance from twenty years old. It’s my first car; a hand-me-down from my mom that I received when she decided to get herself a new car a bunch of years ago. Going from absolutely no mode of transportation to my own set […]Read More Slogging Through… Klanks, Tears and All.
“Alright you mangy son of a bitch… (*sigh*) Let’s do this.” That’s the half-assed pep talk I give myself every morning. I don’t even take myself seriously when I mumble it , but I listen. I throw my legs over the side of my bed and hope that my torso and my spirit follow suite. […]Read More Fight The Coward And Save Your Soul
One of the perks of being what is known in scholarly circles as a “Silly-ass Man” is that, sometimes, situations occur in my life that I could never have thought of on my own. Not because they are over-exaggerated or ultra-violent (*like most of the short stories I wrote before I was 14 years old*), […]Read More Using Butter Knives to Open the Door To Enlightenment (*and Getting Fucking Nowhere*)
I rag on children a lot. It’s just what I do. All the time. I don’t make fun of children because I don’t like them. I rag on everyone. All the time. It’s what I do. Sarcasm is my schtick. Once people realize it’s my schtick, they tend to look past the obvious outer “asshole” […]Read More You’re Only an Idiot if You Get Caught (*By a Child*).
Lately, I’ve been in a bit of a rut. I find myself doing the same thing over and over, day after day. Like most people, it’s just something that happens in life. Work, tv, getting drunk on a Trader Joe’s two-dollar bottle of wine by yourself behind the doughnut shop. It’s the circle of mediocre […]Read More The Faithful Smackdown of a Tragically Emboldened Feller
I was sitting on the floor of the entry way of a hotel room, the only patch of floor that was tiled instead of carpeted. The light from the bathroom, emanating from a crack I left in the door, was the only thing allowing me to see the can of tuna in my hand that I […]Read More …And When All The Rubbish Was Cleared Away, Booze, Sex, And General Debauchery Were All That Was Left
Long ago, William Shakespeare wrote about the process of courtship, “FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!” (*citation needed*) No words written since have rung truer in my mind. The process of meeting and attracting a member of the opposite sex (*Or same-sex. I don’t judge. Do what or whomever you’d like*) is a draining, humiliating ordeal that test the limits […]Read More Fighting Through the Crowd, One Awkward Chit-Chat at a Time